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Post by jordanwonder on Nov 15, 2017 3:44:42 GMT -7
While I commend you for sticking up for what you believe in and taking action (for real, that is great) the only similarity there is a sex scene put into the middle wouldn't make sense.
And I'm not looking for a fight or anything. I just don't believe in victim shaming or blaming or telling a woman that she didn't handle it right. Period.
There's a reason women hide stories away for years.
And perhaps she could have thrown a fit and halted production or made things uncomfortable on set or been given a reputation as being 'hard to work with'. But for many women, that's not how they are raised, or want to be seen.
Maybe she told herself that it's no big deal, 'it's only acting'. Maybe she cried herself to sleep that night or talked her friend's ear off about it at the time.
I imagine her having a conversation with the powers that be about her feelings was hard.That her voice shook and there was a knot in her stomach. And she was shot down.
And yeah, she got paid, and went on to have a very successful career, so all's well that ends well, right?
In my opinion, it is not my place or anyone else's, to tell someone how they feel about a situation that they lived through and I did not, is right or wrong.
In my opinion, it should be more, tell your story, sister...what can we do better next time so another woman isn't feeling violated in the future.
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Post by deadphishbiscuits on Nov 15, 2017 4:31:16 GMT -7
I agree with this
However
J lo after that first encounter waaaay back when capitalized in her sexuality
So sure it was a sex scene way different than prancing around in thongs and bikini tops
She has made millions on that alone, shit her ass has a million dollar insurance policy
I just find it odd, that so many years go by and now it's well it started with this and I feel this
Yet an empire was made on exploiting/using her sexuality and what have you
It's almost as if you get drunk sleep with someone (for stories sake it was consensual at the time by two drunk people) wake up next to a what the fuck is this? And then claim you were raped but at the time yes though intoxicated it was consensual and agreed upon by both people
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2017 4:41:10 GMT -7
It is only similar because I had some principles and stuck to them...the money, benefits, and what it would 'do for my career' didn't matter. I had an M.Ed degree and went to work in a preschool....Yeah, it just didn't involve sex. If I were in the same situation and felt like I was being coerced in any way into doing something I didn't want to do, I can tell you without a doubt, they could stuff it and kiss my ass. I'd be out.
It is only my opinion, and no one needs to agree with it.
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Post by hokiejoe on Nov 15, 2017 4:43:23 GMT -7
I understand the power dynamic but I can't get too worked up about this one either. This wasn't in someone's hotel room, it wasn't a casting couch, she wasn't forcibly touched or raped and she had every opportunity in the world to say no that makes me uncomfortable. She calculated the benefits toward her career and decided it was worth it. I also haven't heard any other person associated with this film's take on this. Was Wesley Snipes such a big star that he dictated to the producer, director and studio heads that he was changing the script so he could sock boner J-Lo? What if this was the director deciding that a sex scene with J-Lo would be a big seller?
All that being said, Wesley Snipes is probably a sicko because apparently all of Hollywood is.
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Post by bussit on Nov 15, 2017 5:20:25 GMT -7
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Post by Not your moms 🌮 on Nov 15, 2017 5:27:17 GMT -7
Never understood the fasination with her ass. Kinda looked like she needed a treadmill to me.
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Post by jordanwonder on Nov 15, 2017 5:45:47 GMT -7
I just don't see that she's making a big deal about it at all. She was asked if she's ever been in a sex scene that made her uncomfortable and she said yes, and here's what happened and this is what I didn't like and this is how I felt. and again she didn't even name the dude's name.
If someone asked me the same thing and I shared a story that happened to me when I was 18 or whatever, am I wrong? No.
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Post by hokiejoe on Nov 15, 2017 5:47:00 GMT -7
Fair and correct. It's easy to conflate the 1,000 current sexual harassment scandals happening simultaneously.
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Post by chickenpoop on Nov 15, 2017 5:54:02 GMT -7
DPB, yes she built her career by capitalizing on her beauty. This does not give the world consent to grab her.
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Post by Zeewada on Nov 15, 2017 5:56:56 GMT -7
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Post by treetophigh on Nov 15, 2017 6:09:00 GMT -7
I think that there is still a hangover (generous) of patriarchal indoctrination that forces a learning curve on women as they develop into adults and further. Same as racism and other archaic standards of society. While some women are inherently independent, critical and confident, others are more likely to be a product of their environment. So I call nans on any suggestion that a woman in JLo's position, or any analogous position should not speak up about past experiences that shine a light on poor culture of a particular industry, etc.
Yeah, she got paid, but coercion and exploitation are real and commonplace. Folks take advantage of naivety whenever they can and while one needs to be in control of one's self, manipulation is still the larger wrong in any of these cases.
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Post by chickenpoop on Nov 15, 2017 6:28:08 GMT -7
It would be an interesting plot twist if Wesley Snipes didn't want to do the scene either and was embarrassed by his boner. And the scene was actually orchestrated by Louis CK, who was in the corner jerking off into a potted plant the whole time.
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Post by ferd on Nov 15, 2017 6:32:05 GMT -7
Why you gotta bring the potted plant into this? He's just sitting over there, photosynthesizing, minding his own damn business.
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Post by treetophigh on Nov 15, 2017 6:37:28 GMT -7
It would be an interesting plot twist if Wesley Snipes didn't want to do the scene either and was embarrassed by his boner. And the scene was actually orchestrated by Louis CK, who was in the corner jerking off into a potted plant the whole time. Clearly this is the most likely scenario. Fake News bamboozled us again!
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Post by bear on Nov 15, 2017 6:47:24 GMT -7
Sticking up for yourself comes with experience, and those experiences are usually ones where you are taken advantage of and then decide you don't want it to happen again.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2017 7:55:24 GMT -7
Daddy, daddy save me now. Save my life, you made a vow
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2017 8:00:08 GMT -7
The natural conclusion to this Hollywood scandal is mass sterilization of the populace, cuz last I checked it's sex that sells. Cut off the dick we know as demand
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2017 8:04:50 GMT -7
I'm curious how many of you have been the person in the position with less power and been in a similar situation? I will, however, make a post about this. As a new Special Ed. teacher, about 18 yrs. ago, I took a job in a low socio-economic area public school. Most of the kids were black, always hungry, no family involvement, etc, etc... The admin tried to have me sign what amounted to illegal IEP's...kids with goals of learning how to count money and other basic things like math facts. I was instructed to teach them Saxon Math, which was wayyy above their heads, learning right angles, etc. The Literacy Co-ordinator, as she lovingly looked at her reflection in the glass of her office door, told me that 'we don't teach kids phonics' at the 4th and 5th grade level, 'we teach vocabulary' ...which is the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard come out of another teacher's mouth. Main point being, if they cant read the FUCKING word, what the hell good is that doing? At any rate, I let them know they could shove all that right up their ass, giving notice of course, and went to work at my son's old pre-school. Making ends meet as a single parent working at a pre-school was not easy. In the meantime, I wrote a letter to the school where I work now, explaining that I wanted to work at a school with integrity for kids and one that did not 'teach to the test'. Four months later, I was teaching there. That's all I have to say about that. Right on Vibyl on standing up for your principles.. I had a similar experience as a delivery driver at a pizza shop that wanted a percentage of my tips. I said F that Im outtie.. Of course, percentage of my tip was codeword for sex stuff, so...
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Post by ferd on Nov 15, 2017 13:54:17 GMT -7
I reported a young woman for sexual harassment when I was in college and worked summers in a deli. So many unwanted advances...I didn't go to the police or anything...just mentioned it to my boss. It stopped quickly. She was pretty mad that I reported her so she stopped talking to me altogether. It worked out pretty well.
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Post by ferd on Nov 15, 2017 13:54:37 GMT -7
Just because I'm behind the deli counter doesn't mean I'm a piece of meat!!!
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