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Post by jordanwonder on Dec 6, 2023 18:03:10 GMT -7
Regarding the phone stuff. Spock got the I-touch or whatever that was called at 11. And an iPhone at 12.
I’ve never really regretted him having a phone at those ages - he always handled himself well.
He has said himself that he would be happy to go to a flip phone but I don’t know if he means it.
I’m like 50/50 on whether I wish he was off social media longer. When he was young, he was fine. We talked about the dangers and risks enough and he was in a good place socially.
I dont like how he seems to take everything he reads online as fact. He seems drawn to conspiracy and potentially easy to manipulate. I hope he grows out of it.
Dave’s kids aren’t allowed any social media (their mom’s rule). His oldest is turning 16 in August. He’s a bright kid. Goes to an accelerated school for STEM. I’m sure in the grand scheme of life he’ll do well. But he’s awkward socially. his few friends are gamers. (Zero judgement. He’s not going through the same hard times that Spock is, but from an outsider looking in he has different challenges). I’m sure he’ll make a lot of money and make everyone proud. But he also isn’t that nice to people different from him. Idk.
It’s really interesting for me to experience the difference.
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Post by jordanwonder on Dec 6, 2023 18:06:46 GMT -7
I wish I would’ve put Spock in private schools or been able to homeschool. Not that I’d be a great teacher or anything but they have no attendance policy at his school. He can skip as much as he wants. He’s never had a detention. And kids are fucking assholes. It was so different for me. We had the Brothers standing at the doors between periods. The only day I ever skipped was senior skip day.
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Post by flyinghellphish on Dec 6, 2023 18:14:42 GMT -7
college is a lot of work but no drama at all. No living situation stuff? I only ask because I've heard girls having some issues with roommates/dorms moreso than dudes but those are issues that can usually be worked out without involving parents... its my son whos in college. no hasnt been any drama, only problems have been academic. |
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Post by flyinghellphish on Dec 6, 2023 18:16:24 GMT -7
I wish I would’ve put Spock in private schools or been able to homeschool. Not that I’d be a great teacher or anything but they have no attendance policy at his school. He can skip as much as he wants. He’s never had a detention. And kids are fucking assholes. It was so different for me. We had the Brothers standing at the doors between periods. The only day I ever skipped was senior skip day. I was an angel really🥸 |
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Post by ferd on Dec 6, 2023 19:01:25 GMT -7
I wish I would’ve put Spock in private schools or been able to homeschool. Not that I’d be a great teacher or anything but they have no attendance policy at his school. He can skip as much as he wants. He’s never had a detention. And kids are fucking assholes. It was so different for me. We had the Brothers standing at the doors between periods. The only day I ever skipped was senior skip day. Same. It's infuriating. I don't want the school to parent my kids for me but have some fucking consequences for being late or not going. Our SRO straight up told my 11 year old that cops weren't going to do anything about truancy |
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Post by ferd on Dec 6, 2023 19:02:06 GMT -7
No living situation stuff? I only ask because I've heard girls having some issues with roommates/dorms moreso than dudes but those are issues that can usually be worked out without involving parents... its my son whos in college. no hasnt been any drama, only problems have been academic. My oldest didn't last a semester. I'm struggling with him. Don't really know what to do at this point |
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Post by EddieBlake on Dec 6, 2023 19:14:43 GMT -7
No living situation stuff? I only ask because I've heard girls having some issues with roommates/dorms moreso than dudes but those are issues that can usually be worked out without involving parents... its my son whos in college. no hasnt been any drama, only problems have been academic. Ah yeah. College is definitely more of a challenge once things pick up. |
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Post by jordanwonder on Dec 6, 2023 19:22:33 GMT -7
Fred, I could go on for days with my frustration at the whole thing.
But for yours…he’ll be okay. College isn’t for everyone, especially at 18. He has had you and legs as amazing examples. He’ll find his way.
Trust that.
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Post by deadphishbiscuits on Dec 6, 2023 19:43:03 GMT -7
Signed on the heavy, parenting situations
Fuggin signed.
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Post by ferd on Dec 6, 2023 19:45:33 GMT -7
Thanks Jordan. I sure hope so... I'm worried though
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Post by flyinghellphish on Dec 6, 2023 19:46:06 GMT -7
I wish I would’ve put Spock in private schools or been able to homeschool. Not that I’d be a great teacher or anything but they have no attendance policy at his school. He can skip as much as he wants. He’s never had a detention. And kids are fucking assholes. It was so different for me. We had the Brothers standing at the doors between periods. The only day I ever skipped was senior skip day. Same. It's infuriating. I don't want the school to parent my kids for me but have some fucking consequences for being late or not going. Our SRO straight up told my 11 year old that cops weren't going to do anything about truancy I keep telling my son,” people my age think being late means you don’t care enough.” |
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Post by deadphishbiscuits on Dec 6, 2023 20:07:46 GMT -7
Same. It's infuriating. I don't want the school to parent my kids for me but have some fucking consequences for being late or not going. Our SRO straight up told my 11 year old that cops weren't going to do anything about truancy I keep telling my son,” people my age think being late means you don’t care enough.” Fair. But people out age think 2 weeks.notice is a requirement...nah it's just been a courtesy, push comes to shove (at least in the corporate side of things) they'd let people go in 2 hours. Let alone 2 weeks I always abided by, consistently late = on time I'll stay late, but if I show up at 8:03 ready to go every day, welp then my shift starts at 8:03 These are newly adopted philosophies as I've always given 2 weeks and used to be beyond punctual Now I'd rather know the weather than the time..work will get done one way or another |
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Post by flyinghellphish on Dec 6, 2023 20:28:17 GMT -7
I totally disagree. Be there when you say you’ll be there and get work done this is college it costs money. If class starts at 9 be there at 9 not too much to ask at all.
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Post by flyinghellphish on Dec 6, 2023 20:32:13 GMT -7
Eventually you have to teach your kid to be an adult and tell them what other adults are thinking
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Post by Don Swifty on Dec 6, 2023 20:43:03 GMT -7
I keep telling my son,” people my age think being late means you don’t care enough.” Fair. But people out age think 2 weeks.notice is a requirement...nah it's just been a courtesy, push comes to shove (at least in the corporate side of things) they'd let people go in 2 hours. Let alone 2 weeks I always abided by, consistently late = on time I'll stay late, but if I show up at 8:03 ready to go every day, welp then my shift starts at 8:03 These are newly adopted philosophies as I've always given 2 weeks and used to be beyond punctual Now I'd rather know the weather than the time..work will get done one way or another This take on lateness is one of the reasons I prefer the Latino culture - Hora Tropical as opposed to Hora Alemania. Sure, if I need a ride to the airport I'd really appreciate my friend or the shuttle shows up on time so I don't miss my flight or have to worry the whole drive to the airport. But other stuff, as long as I haven't said it's imperative it happens by a certain time I'm real flexible. If you're not flexible you're just going to drive yourself crazy when people don't share that same importance of being on time. I was always 15 minutes late to work even when my office was only ten minutes from my house, but I always stayed at least 15 minutes later than quitting time. I usually stayed until I finished what I needed to get done for the day. When I worked as part of a crew I made sure to be on time because it was the kind of work where if one person is late it holds up the whole project and I didn't want to be that guy. When I worked at a plant nursery with about 25-30 employees one of my co-workers thought she was being courteous giving two weeks notice that she'd be moving on. The owner told her not to bother coming in the next day, which fucked up my friend in that she was counting on working those last two weeks before starting her new gig in order to pay her rent. The nursery owner didn't need to do what she did considering my friend was one of her better employees, she just did it out of spite. I learned there and then that the man expects you to give them notice but to them you're just an at will employee. Not saying all employers would pull such a dick move, but one has to look out for #1 'cause ain't nobody else is. I'm a good worker, but probably a shitty employee. I'm pro-Union, but I couldn't work a union job. Too many rules, strictly enforced. I like working with/for people who are more focused on results as opposed to rules. |
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Post by flyinghellphish on Dec 6, 2023 20:49:15 GMT -7
my point to my son was, you at 20 think differently than your professor does at 65.
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Post by flyinghellphish on Dec 6, 2023 20:53:09 GMT -7
...and im not saying the professor isnt a little uptight, but thats the reality of the situation.
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Post by Don Swifty on Dec 6, 2023 21:13:08 GMT -7
I totally disagree. Be there when you say you’ll be there and get work done this is college it costs money. If class starts at 9 be there at 9 not too much to ask at all. If my kid did well on the tests and got good grades I wouldn't really be on their ass about being late or skipping a class if they can make better use of their time focusing on another class, or even if they just want to catch up on sleep. I remember classes with boring professors past their primes giving the shittiest waste of time lectures where it was better to just go to the once a week discussion led by their assistants and make sure to do the required reading. If class attendance was a factor in my kid's grade and they wound up getting docked a grade or two solely for attendance/lateness I'd get on their ass. There's no one size fits all rule when it comes to college. But I get your point. I remember being taught or reading somewhere that the reason why schools started using bells to signify the end of one class and when another starts is to condition students to a future working life where the bell signifies the beginning of work, lunch time, back from lunch, and end of day. But work is different for everybody and everybody has a different set of must do things to succeed. I think knowing what your employer/client expects from you and delivering on that is probably the most important thing a young adult can learn.  ::Big Swifty's pro-tip for college students: visit your professor at least once a semester during their office hours to at least give the impression that you find their class important. Go in with a question that you already know the answer to. Show them that the extra help they're giving you is helpful ("Oh, I see now! You carry the one and then divide by x before multiplying it by the cube root. Thank you so much, professor."). They'll be more likely to remember you and will appreciate the ego boost that comes with having a student understand what they're teaching.:: |
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Post by ancientchad on Dec 7, 2023 5:56:42 GMT -7
I wish I would’ve put Spock in private schools or been able to homeschool. Not that I’d be a great teacher or anything but they have no attendance policy at his school. He can skip as much as he wants. He’s never had a detention. And kids are fucking assholes. It was so different for me. We had the Brothers standing at the doors between periods. The only day I ever skipped was senior skip day. Doesn't he go to Pittsford HS? |
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Post by ancientchad on Dec 7, 2023 6:07:22 GMT -7
With Google Family Link I can limit what apps she has access to and I'm notified whenever she downloads one. I can see how much time she's spends on them, screen time etc. She's aware of this too.
And with a simple touch I can shut that f'er off. Never have and hope I never have to... but she can cram it wherever she likes.
I own the phone. I'm letting her use it because I trust and believe in her.
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